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Archive for the ‘Cethan’s Bad Film Ideas’ Category

Every so often, I think of great ideas for films that minutes later reveal themselves to either be terrible, weird or unfilmable. Rather than letting them disappear into the ether, I am committed to writing them down, so that future generations will remember my ponderous plots, senseless scenes and head hurting histories.

No. 2: Clubbed!

In Apartment 21b, the Easterbrook reading circle are hold their weekly meeting to discuss books and drink tea. When a member goes missing in mysterious circumstances, Detective Sam O’ Reilly goes undercover as an avid reader to discover the cause, and learns the book club’s great secret

Key Scenes:

Sam bluffs her way through a discussion concerning Tess of the d’Ubervilles by remembering watching half the movie late one night.

The Ending: Sam finds the entire life of missing person, Mr. Hazel Brook’s body written in book form. Turns out that the book club document Its members’ lives and when they run out of pages, they are killed to give the book an ending. Sam learns this too late…

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Every so often, I think of great ideas for films that minutes later reveal themselves to either be terrible, weird or unfilmable. Rather than letting them disappear into the ether, I am committed to writing them down, so that future generations will remember my ponderous plots, senseless scenes and head hurting histories.

No. 1: ‘Loons

Everyone in the world wakes up to discover their heads have been replaced by balloons.  There is then a race against time to discover the cause before everyone’s noodle deflates.

Key scene: Upon meeting the villianous Dr. Helium, our hero decapitates him, cuasing his head to float gently into the sky.

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